If you’ve read one word I’ve ever written, you’ve probably gathered that I hate chain restaurants, particularly when they do things like ruin perfectly good meats. I’ll avoid going on a full rant as I did in my piece about chicken wings, but I think you get the gist.
No passport OR palate necessary. (click to embiggen - if you dare)
So I thought I’d mention that today, T.G.I. Friday’s announced they weren’t content to limit themselves to destroying just traditional American dishes; they’ve decided to get into the business of ruining Caribbean food, too.
According to their press release, which I refuse to link to so you’ll have to take my word for it, they’re now destroying chicken wings in an all new flavor profile with their “Grilled Caribbean Wings” (glazed with Captain Morgan Rum sauce), offering another Captain Morgan Rum sauce-based dish called the “Conga-Line Chicken Sandwich” (how’d they know that when I’m hungry, what I want to think about is a pale, fat tourist getting his thrills by holding on to the waist of a lithesome beach bunny barely out of high school), and serving up racks of “Rockin’ Reggae Ribs” smeared in still more Captain Morgan Rum sauce (because when you think of Bob Marley, you think of drunk frat boys hitting each other with drilled cricket bats).
They’ve got 11 other delightfully named culinary abominations as well, but they’re there for a limited time only, so if you want to see just what a major corporation can do to wreck a beautiful flavor profile, you’d better stop in soon.
But if you’re expecting a review from me, you’re going to have to send me a gift card (they sell them on their site), because that’s the only way I’ll be going through that door. Come to think of you, you probably ought to include a bottle of booze, too.
Your sarcastic best, as always: fun to read even though I had no intentions of ever going to a TGIF (and even fewer (less??) intentions of buying you their gift card). ;>
Tried the chicken sandwich today. The name is dumb, but the sandwich was delicious. The chicken was lightly grilled and not breaded. The topping was fresh diced fruit (and onion), with lime juice and a little taste of rum. In Florida, we would call it a salsa. The sauce was in a side cup. The sweet potato fries were fresh and crispy. The worst thing was the size of the bun (huge), but I ate only the bottom. Given how calorific TGIF’s usual menu is, this sandwich was a bright spot.
Actually the Captain Morgan Caribbean Chicken sandwich is just a calorific as the rest of the menu
Calories 1250 Sodium 2900 mg
Total Fat 58 g Potassium 0 mg
Saturated 18 g Total Carbs 145 g
Polyunsaturated 0 g Dietary Fiber 11 g
Monounsaturated 0 g Sugars 0 g
Trans 0 g Protein 35 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Vitamin A 0% Calcium 0%
Vitamin C 0% Iron 0%
Captain Morgan Chicken Sandwich… was good. I would know… I actually ate it… like this… *om nom nom*
Ha – the only way to eat one.
The sandwich is actually delicious. I’m sure it doesn’t taste like real Caribbean food, but I wouldn’t expect it too. Just wish I could find the nutritional info on it!