Harvard Meat Study Proves Me Awesome

All of you occasional meat eaters and vegetarians that have looked at me all squinty-eyed and puzzled when I tell you I write a column about meat – yeah, you – the ones that put your hands over your hearts looking all concerned, as if I’m about whap you on the head and then pump 16 ounces of market ground directly into your left ventricle.  “Meat?” you ask, with an elitist wince, “like….meat?  That you eat?” You guys can bite me.

According to a new study from the Harvard School of Public Health,  meat kicks ass and salt sucks.

Its the salt, not the meat.That’s right, it’s not the meat that screws your heart up, regardless of the saturated fats involved, it’s the salt content in processed meats (I knew there would come a day that I’d feel better about not loving deli ham).  According to the report, which pooled data from 20 studies around the world, just two lousy ounces of processed meat per day is associated with a 42% increase in the risk of heart desease, while twice as much red meat wasn’t linked to any increased risk at all (aside from a slightly elevated risk of diabetes that was considered statistically insignificant).

Oh, they’ve included a few caveats about saturated fats and calorie control, and they claim that these new findings don’t mean meat is a health food (which we know it is, of course)  but the baseline information doesn’t change: it’s the mineral, not the animal. Oh, and it’s probably the nitrites, too.

None of this means that I won’t still eat processed meats occasionally (though I’ve never thought that 550 mg of salt per hot dog seemed reasonable). But now, all those people that act as if fatty cuts are for people too stupid to know better? I’ll just mention “the Harvard study that I guess you didn’t get a chance to read.”

So I get to act like a smug twelve-year-old and be right, two of my favorite things.

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8 Responses to Harvard Meat Study Proves Me Awesome

  1. Joanna says:

    You DO like being 12 and being right. No doubt.

    I do like salt.
    I like salty meat, so I am screwed, unless I give up meat completely, because I won’t give up salami, bacon, sausage links or prosciutto!

  2. Joanna says:

    I also look at those two pictures and see the pretty glowing salt and want to suck it.

    What can I say?

  3. TeresaR says:

    And grass-fed beef is even better…I’m on it. ;)

    Joanna, prosciutto is the tops! I think maybe we should give you a salt-lick for your birthday?

  4. Pingback: Burgerquest: Making the Perfect Hamburger | The Meatist

  5. Tim Brosnan says:

    I, too, like to eat meat. I haven’t eaten any meat yet today, but probably will do so before I turn in. The egg thing I ate for breakfast had some vegetarian sausage in it, but that totally doesn’t count. Hey … here’s a cool idea … a “meat and greet!” Has anybody thought of THAT yet? It would be a drop-in sort of thing where the only commonality among the people attending is that they like to eat meat. Meatist could copyright the idea! “The Meatist Meat and Greet,” it could be called. It would be like a Tupperware party, only with meat themed stuff. I’m rambling now. Someone’s going to flame me, I’m quite sure. Goodbye.

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