There’s a weird stigma around giving appliances and cookbooks to women, as if you’re telling them to get their cute li’l asses back in the kitchen and cook a little something for you. Which is absurd, because they should already know to keep their cute li’l asses in the kitchen and stop with the blah blah blah already.
There’s no such stigma around giving cooking implements to men though (we’re just happy to have you gals talking about our asses), and Father’s Day is a great excuse to go out and get your husband or your father something cool to cook with.
So, since I’m a burner and didn’t get this together last week, I’ll present this as a list of last-minute gift suggestions you might not have thought of for the meat-cooking-loving dad in your household, which is different than just a meat-loving dad, whom you should just take out for steak and beer.
Bring either of them coffee in bed on Sunday though, that’d be cool.
From Crate & Barrel or the 13th century, good for tenderizing and discpline.
Meat Tenderizer (about $20).
I haven’t had one of these in my kitchen since I was a kid, and I have no idea how I don’t have one now, but I want one. Pounding the meat (having not progressed emotionally past 8th grade, that’s still funny to me) helps break up connective tissue and tenderize cheap cuts, and can be done in conjunction with a hearty follow-up marinading.
Using the edge of a plate (an old trick) can seriously wreck a cut of meat, so the rule about using the right tool for the job applies here. Fancy ones have multiple discs that can be attached to the head depending on what you’re beating up, but they look a little too ergo for my taste and I prefer the ones that look like something Braveheart would have used to crush foes.
On the other hand, due to the great combination of utility and hilarious meat hammer jokes you’ll be able to make, pretty much any one of these makes an awesome choice. Crate and Barrel has an Oxo for under 20 bucks, too (and it’s right in the middle of fancy and archaic looking).
I have that knife (left). I love that knife. Nice butt.
A Good Knife ($70-$100).
Every man that works in the kitchen needs an 8″ chefs knife, and if dad doesn’t have one and you want to drop a c-note, now’s a good time. If you’re looking for a classic design, I highly recommend that you check out the Wüsthof Ikon line (I have one with a white handle that my lovely wife gave me for my birthday, and I love it). Well made, beautiful, perfectly weighted for my taste.
Going with a more modern look, Globals are a good choice (and recommended by Anthony Bourdain if that matters to you), and are also well balanced. Another brand from Japan, Shun, also enjoys quite a following, and both are great choices.
If dad’s already got an 8″ chefs, look at a a good 3-4″ paring knife or a nice serrated offset (I’ve had one since I was about twenty and still use it almost daily). All are go-to knives in my kitchen. Whatever you buy, don’t throw it in the dishwasher, ever.
The smoker that needs no introduction.
The Weber Smokey Mountain Cooker (about $300)
When you really, really, really love the dad in your house (or haven’t yet told him that you burned out the clutch on his ground-up restored Triumph TR-6 while he was out of town and you wanted to impress a girl by trying to do a burn out in it), grab him a Weber Smokey Mountain.
Of course, I’d recommend that you make absolutely sure the dad at your house enjoys smoking meat as much as Snoop Dogg enjoys smoking herb before you drop the cash, but if he does, and you’ve got the space, this is a huge win. As in: getting 30% more cash next year while you’re away at college, huge.
Just make sure you grab a bag of charcoal and some hickory, and don’t forget to have a brisket or some racks of ribs ready along with some dry rub. Most men still haven’t gotten past the “I want to play with it right NOW” phase of emotional development, regardless of how many years have passed since they were six (I know I haven’t), so let him indulge his need for immediate gratification – after all, it is his day.
