I know the problem: the thought of braving pools of spilled Pabst Blue Ribbon, acres of Salvation Army clothing and the constant yammering of hipsters desperately trying to prove how deck* they are by out-obscuring each other with musical references is pretty awful.

But this spring the original lineup of Guided By Voices is doing some extremely limited touring and you may just have to suck it up and go.

Dates include the Sasquatch! Festival on May 30, Great Plaza in Philadelphia on June 17 (tickets on sale next week), and McCarren Park in Brooklyn on June 18 (tickets on sale now).

I can’t speak for the other cities, but one of the few upsides of Mayor Bloomberg’s continued de-balling of the NYC I grew up in and miss terribly is the fact that the latest horrible law he signed, the one that bans smoking in public parks, goes into effect on May 23 and means you may not have to the watch hipster crowd French inhale their Parliaments. On the other hand, it also means that you’ll be that much easier to spot when you light up some weed to blunt the effects of their hipsterism and mute the sound of their discussions about the latest issue of Vice.

My advice: don’t miss the show if you’re in one of the cities GBV will hit, but take the risk and go armed with a flask of Powers Irish whiskey and some bud (not weiser, hipster) anyway. They really are two great tastes that go great together, and with Pollard on stage you’ll be able to forget the people around you fairly easily.

*Deck: the new hipster word for cool. I know, I know, it makes me want to punch someone too, and if you ever hear me use “deck” out loud in that context you have my permission to bury a hammer in my skull. Man, todays hipsters suck at coining new slang.