I despise chain restaurants, particularly those of the Applebee’s/TGI Friday’s/Outback ilk. But they do keep popping up more and more, even in a recession (is it official yet?). They’re drawn primarily to malls, either indoor or outdoor, where they sit smugly across the way from a Barnes & Noble or Circuit City, licking their chops as trans-fat craving citizens stroll through the double-wide doors, wedge themselves into booths, and order deep fried, uber-sauced mystery proteins from the flair-laden waitress that just returned from digging at that zit in the middle of her forehead and is focused more on the beer pong game she’s gonna kick Jenna’s ass at that night than whether or not you want curly fries.
These places have as little to do with good cooking as British Petroleum has to do with good oil well management (oh yeah, getting all topical, that’s right). It’s all about our copious amounts of sugar and grease at those “neighborhood” eateries, and they churn out platter after platter of pseudo-food that keeps American palates stupid and American asses lumpy.
Even so, there’s one menu item at every one of these joints that’s able to transcend the thoughtless sauces, bad spices, and even the deep fryer in need of an oil change: chicken wings. Mr. Wing brings a quiet strength to every plate, accepting the fact that he’s probably been done wrong in the kitchen, yet confident that no matter how he’s been abused, his true greatness will shine through. And he’s almost always right.
Wings are a great balance of moist (unless the kitchen staff really screwed the pooch) white meat and skin, and each bite is as close to perfect as possible. Please don’t think that they only belong in the bar food or appetizer category (although they acquit themselves well in either role). Because wings work well for any meal, either as a main or a side, they’re awesome hot or cold, and travel well to your favorite wing-ingestion locations anywhere.
Wings are perfect, and I’ve got two great ways to take them way beyond what you get when by dropping them in a fryer and serving them with celery (why celery, why?) and a crap blue cheese sauce.
When I was a kid, my happiest culinary moments came when I walked into the kitchen to find my mother making the chicken wing recipe that had been passed to her by my grandmother, Muddie (no, I do not know where the name came from – in fact, no one knew how old she was either). Muddie’s wings have an orange-based sauce. They’re stupidly sticky and flavorful, and the meat falls off the bone (sometimes on the way to your mouth). It’s simple, delicious, and still makes me dizzy with happiness (or over-winging) when I eat my way through a pan.
For the citrus-haters out there, I’m giving up my non-buffalo spicy wing recipe. Why non-buffalo? Because Buffalo wings usually suck. Nothing against the city or anything, and the original incarnations may have been great, but nowadays it usually means wings with a ton of really hot sauce that lacks subtlety. So that’s not for me. Instead, these wings stay moist, have enough heat, and aren’t doused in generic hot sauce.
Either one of these can be massaged as you wish to meet your personal wing sauce requirements. As I think I’ve made clear, as long as you’re not an idiot about it, wings will take what you give them and return greatness. Just stay out of those crappy restaurants and you’ll be fine.
Read Muddie’s sweet orange chicken wing recipe.
Read the spicy non-Buffalo wing recipe.
For some reason, chicken wings are highly prized by Chinese people. My mom and sister and I still fight over the wings when we get together for a meal. My only regret is that we’ve not bred chickens with 5 extra sets of wings yet…since we butcher our own, we only ever get 2 wings each time. Bummer.
It’s so nice to know someone else who avoids chain restaurants!
So then send me your recipe and I’ll make some. And if you get your shit together to make a 5 wing chicken, I’m coming over.
I don’t have a recipe…my mom used to make soy sauce chicken, a “lo-suy” chicken that’s similar to, yet very different from (hard to explain) soy sauce chicken, “drunken” chicken, and “white” chicken. The only one we actually make ourselves is the “white” chicken, which is really easy as you just boil the chicken…the secret is in the grated ginger and scallions dipping sauce.
If you’re interested in any of those, I can get the recipe (or an approximation) for you.
If I ever create a 5 wing chicken, I’ll be busy with the Nobel committee (or the gastronomic equivalent) for a while.
Do I want it? Does the pope wear a funny hat? I think I’ve already mentioned that he does….whatever you can get, I surely want. Including the DNA for the five winged chicken (the guy on South Park made five assed monkeys or something, didn’t he?)
Don’t get me started on the pope…and the funny hat is the least of it.
I’ll assume you have access to a decent Chinese grocer because some of these ingredients are a little odd and can only be bought at an Asian grocery store. :}
I’m also giving you the recipes “as is”, so you’ll have to modify to suit the actual chicken parts (and whatever amount thereof) you’re using.
Soy sauce chicken:
- 1 chicken, whole (about 3.5 pounds)
- 1 bottle of “thin” soy sauce
- 1/2 bottle of “thick” soy sauce (it’s sweeter than the “thin” type)
- 1 lb of “ice” sugar
- 1/2 bowl of water, optional
Clean and dry chicken and rub with salt. Let stand for a while with salt, then rinse salt off.
Heat the soy sauces, sugar and water in a large pot (big enough to fit a whole chicken in) on med heat, being careful not to let the mixture boil.
When steam begins to rise from the liquid, put chicken in, back side down.
Flip the chicken over after the liquid beings to steam again. Keep flipping the chicken over several times, letting the liquid come back to a “boil” each time.
Turn off the heat and let the chicken soak for a 1/2 hour…or until a poke test shows the chicken is done.
Cut up chicken into bite-sized chunks.
Soy sauce mixture can be refrigerated and re-used several times.
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“White” chicken
You basically boil a chicken in a pot of salted water (enough water to submerge the chicken) similar to the method above: chicken in backside down, then flip over when water reboils. Turn off the heat and let the chicken sit in the water for 1 to 1.5 hours.
Take out the chicken when the poke test shows it’s cooked thoroughly. Pat it dry and rub cooked oil (Chinese people cook up peanut oil that they use for condiment type purposes) all over it. Cut up chicken into bite-sized chunks.
Ginger sauce for dipping the chicken in:
-grated ginger
-chopped green onions
-veg oil
-salt
-sugar
Place the grated ginger and chopped green onions in a small bowl. Heat the wok and wait for smoke to rise. Pour oil into wok and wait until the oil is heated. Pour the oil over the ginger and green onions. Add some salt and sugar to taste, and stir it all in.
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This last recipe is from a Lee Kum Kee cooking booklet; it’s very similar to the “lo-suy” chicken I was telling you about.
Marinated Chicken
- 2 lb chicken pieces
- 6 oz Lee Kum Kee Marinade Sauce (they called it Spice Sauce in the recipe, but the photo of the bottle shows that it says “Marinade Sauce” on the label)
- 6 oz water
- 1 T sesame oil
- 2 T sugar
Boil Marinade Sauce, water, sugar and sesame oil.
Put chicken pieces in Marinade Sauce.
Reduce heat to medium and cook for 30 minutes until the pieces are done.
The drunken chicken is cooked with rice wine…and I don’t like it so I don’t have the recipe, but if I remember, I can ask my mom for you.
I have been making wings for 25 years now, and while your recipes look good, I have to say the deep fried wing, cooked correctly, is superior to the baked. Through trial and error, and accidentally mixing sauces, I came up with a hot raspberry wing which has become world famous in my particular world of friends.
Any time you want to send it along for a try, I’m ready to check it out.
The recipe of course – you needn’t mail me the actual wings. Unless you put the address and stamps on the wing itself, and put THAT in a mailbox.
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