I’ve had more than one perfectly prepared meat dish that delivered the kind of euphoria most people think is achievable only through the drug use or porn viewing. And those were great moments. But there are times when chasing a new, mind expanding meat experience isn’t quite what I’m looking for; times when what I really want is some delicious, dependable comfort food. And since I’m not the carbist, macaroni and cheese isn’t usually at the top of my list, despite the fact that there are some amazing versions made with meats like bacon and chicken.
No, it's not actually MY meatloaf - but it plays one on my blog.
Nope, number one on my comfort food hit parade is meatloaf. And while you can make a passable one by mixing ground beef with some egg, bread crumbs, ketchup and onion soup mix, there are better ones out there: Misery Meatloaf for example.
Misery Meatloaf (so named because it’s supposedly great when you have a hangover) is a recipe my mother clipped from a paper 143 years ago. Or maybe 30. Whichever, she passed it along to my sister, who used to own a restaurant with a partner named Mini Me (not his real name, but he was kinda short with stubby arms). Mini Me not only didn’t eat meat, he didn’t like the look of it. So of course Mini made the misery meatloaf, which I still don’t understand, but there it is.
I wrote about this last year, but the recipe’s been tweaked and the whole thing is worth a quick review, so today I’m going to go ahead and tell the story of how Mini Me made the meatloaf.
The process was tough to watch (ah, I’m lying – it was hilarious). He began with putting milk into a bowl, followed by chunks of bread to relax and soak. So far so good, but the guy looked genuinely scared as he approached the meat, looking away as he dumped the beautiful freshly ground beef into a mixing bowl.
“I’ve been hit in the face by flecks of it” he explained.
“Well, you just caught some on the neck, dude.”
After we revived him using a portable defibrillator and I explained I was just kidding, he got back to work, adding a few more ingredients before sitting down and staring at the bowl.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I, uh, need to get psyched up to mix it, that’s all.”
Mini’s mixing process went a little something like this: get a box to stand on (I wasn’t lying when I said he was on the short side), dump the milk-soaked bread in, then mix it by hand while trying to keep from gagging.
“Are you o.k. Mini?”
“No.”
Huh. Well, he is a vegetarian and his arms were covered in blood, so I suppose that’s understandable. Still though, my 9-year-old son Desmond will mix meatloaf all day long with a huge grin on his face, which makes him a total badass in comparison. Plus, when my son makes meatloaf, he doesn’t get a gag reflex going that sounds like a cat trying to yerk up a fur ball.
I took pity on Mini and finished up for him while he sat on a stool with his head between his legs, clutching a bottle of water: not the best look for a chef.
I’ve made Misery Meatloaf quite a few times since then, though I’ve tweaked the recipe and renamed it Euphoria Meatloaf. Mini Me, however, refused to make it any more, claiming it wasn’t worth the effort.
I beg to differ, Mini.
Meatloaf is total comfort food; I craved it when I was preggers with ds1. Dh makes a similar version, but without cinnamon and allspice.
My meatloaf turned out amazing. If you make Euphoria Meatloaf, I made Fellatio By Oiled 18-Year-Old Girl Meatloaf.
Details:
I used a mix of ground chuck and bulk italian sausage, torn by hand from the animals from whence they came.
Made a mirepoix (onion, carrot, celery) with garlic, cooked in clarified butter with cumin and cracked peppercorns, like a boss.
Used italian breadcrumbs instead of your torn bread, you peasant.
Barbecue sauce all up in this bitch.
It was delicious. Thanks for the inspiration!
Almost all meatloaves are good meatloaves – except when they aren’t. That one, though, sounds quite fine. Love that you bothered to use clarified butter instead of taking an easy route to a high smoke point (like olive oil).
OilBUTTER sautes onions better than anythingPersonally, I don’t generally use a mirepoix, despite its rep as the holy trinity of vegetable medleys, though whether it’s laziness or disdain for celery I do not know. Zach Bell at Cafe Boulud used a mirepoix in his terrine (you DID read about that, right?) though, so it does have its merits. Just not in MY meatloaf.
I use breadcrumbs AND the torn bread, which is the best of both worlds in my opinion. The bread helps add air and moisture to the delightful pockets it ends up in. Plus, people ask what those chunks are, and you can tell ‘em it’s diced pig fat to screw with them. Not that it would bother me, mind you (see Zach Bell story again).
I’m going to try some BBQ sauce as well, next time. Was yours homemade or bottled?
I agree with the ease of oil, but nothing smells better than onions cooking in clarified butter. Did you know that tradition Hindu funerals involve being covered in the stuff and then cremated? I’m converting next tuesday.
The mirepoix is more of an attempt to be healthy rather than fancy. I figured that 3 vegetables will keep me alive at least a year longer than 1.
The diced pig fat line got me thinking. Maybe some lardons sprinkled into the mix next time?
I usually use homemade BBQ, but I was out. Sweet Baby Ray’s is the next best thing, though. I used it 50-50 with ketchup, both in the mix and the glaze. The BBQ in the glaze made it delightfully gummy.
I was considering doing the hot dog smiley face, but my family would crucify me.
I typo’d up there actually – I MEANT to say that BUTTER sautes onions better than anything (and have edited my comment appropriately). So we’re in agreement there.
Not on the BBQ sauce front though – I just discovered (re-discovered perhaps) Bullseye of all things, and find it quite nice. Made with sugar instead of the hated HFCS, and I’ve switched to it from Ray’s which I used to buy as emergency sauce. Bonus: the “Carolina” variety of Bullseye is excellent (for bottled of course) – a mustard-tinged sugar primed delight.
I think we need to have a meat-filled afternoon together, sir. We might need a spotter to call the paramedics for when the inevitable happens.
Meatloaf isn’t somewhat less greasy if you cook it in a perforated tin foil hammock, letting the grease run off. Slightly healthier. But you can remedy that by putting one of your patented braided bacon blankets on top, then topping with bbq or tomato topping of your choice
I will admit that I remove said loaf promptly from the sea of grease that it swims in once finished. But the hammock idea is interesting…..