I totally want one of these.  Which makes me not only a geek, but also even more self-important that I thought

You’ve seen the scenarios play out in countless movies: someone needs to hack into a storage device to steal information, but if they try to brute force the issue, the damn thing will self destruct. Sometimes, to get around the security, the hacker will cut the finger off of someone that can access it in order to get past the fingerprint verification.

Well apparently neither scenario is bullshit, or so Victorinox, the famous Swiss Army Knife manufacturer, would have you believe. So they’ve released a USB Stick that does the former and prevents the latter.

The new Victorinox Secure, launched recently in London, is a Swiss Army Knife with an integrated USB stick available in 8GB, 16GB and 32GB sizes. It sells for $75 to $270.

Claimed to be un-hackable, Victorinox even offered a £100,000 prize to anyone that could crack it during their launch event – the money went unclaimed. Victorinox uses a combination of AES256 technology and a fingerprint reader to keep hackers out, and if an attempt is made force it open, the CPU and memory chip burn themselves up.

And that whole “cut off the finger thing?” No worries there either – just explain to the black ops guy holding the bolt cutters over your finger that their plan to take your finger back to their secret lair while they work on the password wont work: the fingerprint scanner has a thermal sensor, so they’re just going to have to keep you alive while they try and hack the encryption.

Of course you could always just avoid the drama and torture all together by just unlocking it for them – after all, you’ve probably only got crappy porn on the thing.