First off, this is not a post about the Triumvirate of Palin.  Sorry.  I wanted to write one last short piece on Miss Sarah as my southern neighbors might call her (being a transplanted New Yorker that was totally new to me, the whole Mister Brad and Miss Joanna thing.  We called our adults Mr. This or Mrs. That to their faces, and Jay’s asshole dad and Alex’s hot mom behind their backs.)

At any rate, as I was thinking about writing a third post on her the word triumvirate popped into my head even though it refers to “a group of three men holding power,” (say for example Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld: the early years) and not “three things that go together” (like fast cars, chicks and roofies.)  It doesn’t work at in the context I used it, but I like the word and used it anyway.  So put away your frigging dictionaries and editors’ hats.

Now then.  I was speaking with someone on the phone yesterday and trying to explain why I was for divided government (you can read that as gridlock if you like.  By the way, the day that “do nothing Congress”  became a negative term was a black day in this country’s history) and the person I spoke with referred to Palin as a know-nothing beauty queen.  Since the person that said it is extremely intelligent and knows that sort of rhetoric doesn’t really advance a conversation, I took the comment as an indication that this person was truly worried about Palin getting into any national office. I also thought that perhaps it was precipitated by a misunderstanding regarding my opinion about her.

So let me say this about that: I am not pro-Palin.  I’m not pro-anyone in this election.  What I am is a contrarian that’s irritated with knee-jerk rhetoric on both sides.  My personal irritation level is fueled more by some things than others, but believe me when I say that both sides piss me off in pretty much equal measure.

But to elucidate my thoughts on Palin further:

• Her position on abortion (against it in all cases, including rape and incest) is an abortion
• Her position on the death penalty (pro) should be dragged out back and shot
• The fact that she asked a librarian if she would be ok with “offensive” books being removed from the library makes me want to remove the offensive parts of her brain (yes, I know the story was exaggerated in the press and I know that the McCain campaign is claiming the question was “hypothetical,” but that’s entirely irrelevant.  And anyway, those sorts of questions are only hypothetical until you get the answer you actually want.)
• Her position on immigration isn’t clear, though she’s said publicly that she’s against comprehensive reform.  Since in my humble opinion anything less than open immigration is retarded, she can go south of the border on me for that one too.
• For her position on same-sex marriage (because who gives a shit who you marry?) she should be forced to use straight hairdressers and stylists for the rest of her life (she’s against it and supported a constitutional amendment in Alaska banning it, which brings me to…)
• Her position on passing stupid laws that tell people how to behave by screwing around with the Constitution should be…well I’d say amended to keep with the format, but frankly that’s not strong enough – so let’s just say it’s a fucking horrible way to “legislate.”

So those are off the top of my head.  It’s possible that I’m slightly misstating her opinion on a few of those, but I don’t believe so.  I have done at least SOME research.  On the flip-side, her position on the 2nd Amendment is (here it comes….this theme is getting really old….) bang on target (she’s the most pro-2A candidate in the field,) and there are some indications that she is against hate crime legislation, though that’s not entirely clear.

Of course the fact is that wherever she stands on the issues, she’s the potential Vice President, not the President.  Oh I know, there have been some strong veeps in the office before, but I don’t believe she’s any Dick Cheney to McCain’s Bush (hehe McCain’s Bush….)  And while I’m on that subject, please refrain from any comments along the lines of “yeah, she hasn’t shot anyone in the face.”  Not that I think it’s inappropriate, it’s just that it’s really been done to death, don’t you think?

I’m also aware that McCain is like 200 years old and may die in office.  But therein lies the beauty of divided government: a President Palin would need the approval of the currently Democrat-controlled Congress to get anything done, just like McCain would.  Were Congress in Republican hands I’d be talking up electing a Democrat, but right now it’s Obama and Biden that we have to worry about: not necessarily because of their policies but because of the lack of the checks and balances that help keep government changing slowly.  Just like it should.

Postscript:  In honor of Palin’s view on abortions I want to mention that Doug Stanhope (who’s one of the funniest goddamn people on the planet) has set up a “Save Bristol” fund to raise money for Palin’s daugter to get an abortion.  You can read his post here which links to the Save Bristol site and a Paypal donate button.  Lest you think he’s scamming, the donate button actually goes directly to the Lilith Fund, an organization that helps women in that need help paying for an abortion.