Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it I like me!
I swore I wasn’t going to do a political post today because really, how fucking typical would that be? But I did go vote for myself (proof below), so I figure it deserves at least a short note.
If you were to click on that ballot to get a better look, you’d notice a few of things:
- They’ve changed how we vote down here again. This time it’s completely idiot proof. No chads, no computer screens, and a paper trail. They even make you do a demo in front of the election official to prove you are able to connect two blocks together with a magic marker. In hindsight I wish I’d pretended to just not understand: stand there and keep repeating “wait, what am I supposed to do?” and maybe connect my name with the page number. But I always think of that stuff too late and my balls are just too small anyway, so I played it like a good citizen and showed them I knew how to vote. When you’re done connecting the little lines, you feed the entire ballot into a machine that shreds it and changes the vote to whomever the the Freemasons have decreed wins this year.
- I don’t vote in elections that I don’t know anything about. If everyone is like me, I’m going to lose pretty big. Thankfully most people aren’t, so I have a minuscule chance at this thing (we found out today that a friend’s mom who had no idea of who I was had already voted for me because my name was first on the list. Woo Hoo!)
- I live in a swing state. I voted for Barr. Live with it.
Tonight I’ll get to watch my name scroll by on TV. There will be a number next to it. I hope there are more than 2 digits in that number.
Letcha know tomorrow.