Katie Couric can keep a straight face through anything.
I was called a snob the last time I said that Sarah Palin was an idiot. But if thinking that the following quotes indicate a lack of the sort of….what’s the word I’m looking for…. on-the-ball-itude necessary to be the Vice President of the United States makes me a snob, then I’m the snobbiest bastard I know. What’s immediately apparent when you read or listen to these bits (and they’re both fun: reading and listening that is) is that Palin’s been given a few talking points to use but doesn’t seem to know how or where to use them, or even exactly what they mean. So she spins the wheel of random slogans (c’mon big money! no whammy no whammy no whammy) and whatever pops up she jams into a semi-coherent sentence that doesn’t answer the question.
Both of the following quotes have been lovingly transcribed by yours truly for your reading pleasure. There’s a link to the video I got them from at the end of the post.
Quote number one comes to us from the part of Palin’s brain that spun the slogan “shore up”. It’s her answer to Couric’s question about what the alternative is if a bailout bill isn’t passed:
The the alt…as I say, inaction is not an option, we have got to shore up our economy. This this is crisis moment for America – really for the rest of the world also looking to see what the impacts will be if America were to choose not to shore up what has happened on wall street because of the the ultimate adverse effects on main street and then how that effects this globalization that we’re a part of in our world.
And here I didn’t even know that we were part of the globalization in our world.
Our next quote sadly appears to have had to contend with a malfuntion of the wheel of slogans. Random catchphrases were flung into the middle of sentences where they didn’t belong. It’s like a movie in which the robot that everyone thinks is human starts short-circuiting and saying all kinds of weird random shit. Here then is her answer to Couric’s question asking why it wouldn’t be better to spend $700 billion dollars helping families stuggling with health care, mortgages etc (which could actually be answered really easily by saying “because that would be stupid.”)
That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we’re ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the tax payers looking to bail out. But ultimately what the bail out does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy, um helping tho uh….it’s got to be all about job creation too, shoring up our economy and and putting it back on the right track, so health care reform and reducing taxes and reigning in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans and trade – we’ve got to see trade as opportunity not as a a competitive um scary thing, but one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today, we’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of job creation, this bailout is a part of that.
Impressively stupid. It’s like political Tourette syndrome. She just threw every fucking phrase she had ever heard at the wall to see if anything stuck. Health care reform! Shore up the economy! Job creation! Reigning in spending! Trade sector! Job creation! And, of course, reducing taxes, tax reductions, AND tax relief. All three (and in the same sentence!)
This woman has no business running for VP, period. Sure, you can say that anyone should be allowed to run for office (I agree – why, I myself am running for office, just this once) but John McCain had a responsibility to select someone who could actually do the job. Not to mention someone that could take over as President should he die in office. But he didn’t. For me, as long as he was picking someone that couldn’t do the job I wish he had at least picked someone that actually intends to be funny, like SpongeBob. At least he’d bring Patrick along to help defend the borders from the Russians.
Fareed Zakaria put it like this (in the article in which he had the same section I used for my second quote transcribed, and which I could have stolen from him had I seen it before I transcribed it myself thereby saving myself much typing, but I didn’t so I suck):
In these times, for John McCain to have chosen this person to be his running mate is fundamentally irresponsible. McCain says that he always puts country first. In this important case, it is simply not true.
You can check out the original video here.